So, I haven’t posted here in a while. And for everyone who is still around or new to this blog, thanks for sticking by.

The last couple of months snowballed on me. My once-faithful Serenity died just before the new year began, leaving me carless and stuck in the boonies with a house full of laziness. I got frustrated, angry, depressed. I spent a bit of time couch surfing and freelancing for content mills to get by. Then I got a new car – a car I have christened the Nirvana Centauri. She’s not much, and as far as sound capabilities go she’s only got a radio. But I hope that will change soon.

I spent the better part of the last month or so staying at my sister’s. It was peaceful, except for the dogs. Saved on gas, was able to be myself without feeling like I’m out-of-place. And it was close to my friends and support network.

Tomorrow I will be starting a new job that I hope will allow me to finally settle and move out of here. I came back home to my folks’ place Sunday night. I cleaned yesterday and blew the dust off a lot of things that I had kind of forgotten about in the past month.

One of those things was my Mystic Dreamer Tarot deck.

Last night I picked up the deck and looked through, discovering things I had never noticed before. The presence of spiders on the Magician’s table. The spear at the feet of the woman in the Strength card. The coins on the rocks that hold up the Ace of Pentacles. The third figure in the 3 of Pentacles hidden in the shadows. I felt the deck opening up to me again. Showing me the things I have in the past been too busy to notice.

This morning I woke, wrote my morning pages, and reached for the deck, just like I used to do before things became chaotic. I asked a simple question; What message should I keep with me through my journey today?

And just like old times, the cards answered me.

There has got to be a better way to get good photos of cards.

There has got to be a better way to get good photos of cards.

“Your heart is strong. Through heart ache, heart-break and cutting knives and thoughts it has continued to beat, stronger and stronger. Your heat has pulled you out of the situations your brain got into (kind of like a reverse falling in love). Through all this you have experienced many emotions and they’ve been put on display. But there is one missing. Don’t worry about your incomplete collection though – a union of hearts and minds is coming to gift you with that missing emotion.”